Walking arm-in-arm with my girlfriend to the taxi rank in Bath after a pleasant evening out with friends and I’m hit by a Coke can thrown from a passing car. WTF? A little big of blood, an inch-long cut and a slightly bigger bump, which still hurts (a bit) the morning after. Bruised ego, too. I flagged down a passing police van at the time and was able to give them the car’s registration number, so hopefully between that and the CCTV and finger-printing the can they picked up at the scene, the rozzers will be able to nabs the perps. Twats.
All of which reminded me why I don’t go out on a Saturday night. It’s not like genteel Bath is a hellhole of danger, but you never know when you’re going to run into some fucking chav who thinks it’s a laugh to throw stuff at people from cars.
Does that sound like a sense of humour failure? Maybe. But I’d have been laughing even less if the can had smacked my girlfriend in the face instead of hitting my enormous forehead.
Speaking of smacking people in the face, I was wondering what a suitable punishment would be should they ever get caught (unlikely) or tried (even unlikelier) or convicted (unlikelier still). I have no idea what the charge would be – is “Being a cunt” against the law?
An eye-for-eye seems reasonable, so I think stoning the fucker to death would be appropriate. It would also send a message. Especially if some of the stones were wrapped in pieces of paper with messages from all the people who have ever been randomly attacked.
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